HYPERSPACE [a literary depiction of psychosis]

HYPERSPACE SNIPPETS

[For information concerning full HYPERSPACE excerpts on this site, please scroll down to next post.]

NOTE: In this novel the symbol < means the beginning of a character’s thought and a superscript zero (0) ends the thought.

“Why are you all alone Jason? Why don’t you have some fun?” a light, pleasant female voice, breaking into his thoughts, is asking. Turning left slightly, viewing a blonde, pink female form in blue standing before him…

*  *  *

Beaming in his eyes is the lush shining brightness of her astonishing blonde hair warmly blending with her radiant light pinkness, her perfectly womanly shape being revealed in a manner more evocative for its subtlety than for any pretentious flamboyance…

*  *  *

Wheeling into a narrow side path of polished stone they are standing before a side entrance, he feeling her hand loosening its grip, pulling away, he watching for several seconds as she is groping in her hand bag until, the hand rising with a ring of keys, she pushes one of them into the lock hole. “Jason, look!” indicating with her chin that the lock should be the object of his attention, he watching her pulling the key partially out, pushing it in with quick jerking motions. Looking up at him with a broad smile…  “See how easy it is?” she is rhetorically questioning, while in a second gagging is constricting his throat.

* * *

Do you know,” he is saying while she is looking at him, “I once heard a great theoretical physicist say that before the Big Bang the universe was a compressed mass of matter the size of a quark, a mere subatomic particle! Can you begin to think how small and puny we are? How insignificant? That we are mere figments of God’s imagination?” Noticing a look of perplexity on her face…

*  *  *

He is watching himself standing in the flatland far enough away from their house of a year and a half ago for it to hardly be visible. “That’s when I turned away from the house and began walking towards the mountain on the Edge. That was when I drew near to our Meeting, my Love for Eternity. I remember my aching during the long walk to the mountain. It was you who drew me there! Why else would I walk so far even though I was hurting so much?” Cloying his memory’s vision, colors are emblazoning land and peak. Gazing at the skyward jutting jagged-edged triangle, he is viewing a mass of rock with sides of unequal height drenched in yellow sunset orange, the waning glow thinning into the sky, melding with evening blue. Raising his eyes into the blue, thinking of outer space and of far away worlds . . . “I was thinking, my Love, of how much better things must be out there than they are here. It wasn’t an accident that we met! You guided me and knew my thoughts because it was then, while looking up and thinking of these things, that we met! For it was then that I saw your Eternal Light glimmering in my eye! First there was the darkness of the evening sky, then there was me thinking of how things had to be better up there on other worlds, and then there you were winking at me with your dear dear blueness, like a clear and bright blue diamond. That was our first Meeting my Love, my Friend, my Goodness! That was your calling of me to you!”…Continuing staring at the tiny pauselessly winking blue dot amidst the increased number of blinking dots now suspended in a darkening abyss he is aware of silence.

*  *  *

Tying the laces of each sneaker together in such a way as to allow him to sling them across his left shoulder; doing so, he is continuing walking where lapping ocean meets land, enjoying the sensation of cool and tingly wetness flowing around his feet, through his toes, sinking them slightly into sand converting to soft scratchy sludge, the sneakers with his motion swinging narrowly across his shoulder. A breadth of aquatic risings and fallings in gentle almost even-cadenced swells stretching out to open horizon; a blinding veil of yellow-white blazing outward from an orb of congealed seemingly endless hydrogen explosions inflaming an almost cloudless light blue sky spreading over beach and ocean is striking Jason as an inexplicable vista to the wondering eye. Breathing in deeply the sea’s intoxicating aroma as splashing sounds of waves striking land are filling his hearing, squawking sounds are now impinging and, looking up, a view of flying gulls across the oceanic expanse and over the beach is entering his vision…. Walking with care so as not to cut his feet or stub his toes, Jason is viewing a cliff beyond the pathway rising to a plateau as he is entering a wide semi-circular area. Loose rocks and pebbles covering the area, large boulders embedded in the ground, and, like the backs of large turtles, similar boulders in the dark blue bay, their tops visible above the surface, are entering his vision….Something touching is startling him, he almost tripping. Looking up…a girl about his age is standing directly before him. Seeing her in a one piece swimsuit cut away around the waist, a golden tinge in her brown hair visible, for a second he is looking into her brown eyes and then downward seeing her holding a large ball. “Do you want to play?” she is asking him in her soft voice, smiling at him. “No!” Beginning walking towards the cliff…<why did you say no0 “She offered friendship and you said no!” Drawing near the cliffside he is stopping and looking back seeing the girl standing by herself holding the beach ball, looking towards him. A sharp stabbing pain deep within traveling out until it is consuming him is being experienced. “She wanted to play with someone and now she’s alone,” he is whispering, the thought of her loneliness, of his saying no when she offered him friendship adding to her lonely suffering, causing within him a crying, a painfully consuming unquenchable fire. <couldn’t help it0 “Turn around now and go back to her and play.” <can’t0 Reaching the foot of the cliff, turning right, directing himself away from the water, fire is engulfing him as the image of the girl alone on the beach looking for the friend who never came is searing him with its inner vision, while rolling through him like earth-vibrating thunder are his feelings as he is experiencing a visceral vice-like constriction.

 

*  *  *

“I know that Plato’s methods run counter to those of the existentialists because the goal of the latter is definitely not to achieve a universal system though for many if not for most of the ancients a universal system was the primary goal and it got even worse in Nietzsche’s day culminating in Hegel’s pronouncement that his universal system was actually God!” Stopping by the footboard and placing on it his left foot he is bending tying his lace. “Yeah! The final synthesis of the Hegelian dialectic is God! How many people know that when Nietzsche wrote ‘God is dead’ he was referring in large part to Hegel’s philosophy which ultimately led to Communism!” <one of the things attracting me to existentialism0…”…isn’t it odd that I seem to be more interested in reading than in women? Existentialism! Plato!” <long ago women…always disconnected…do people think i’m strange…never see woman…0

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